One is always hearing about how malesubs outnumber Femdoms. This is true to a degree. However, I don't believe the number of quality malesubs is that high.
I base this on the fact that I am still searching for that one sub to complete me. I also know some other Dommes that haven't found the one for them.
I have enjoyed some wonderful play partners, however, to build a lifestyle D/s relationship takes much more than a traditional vanilla relataionship or a casual play BDSM partnership. You have to be able to combine the aspects of a traditional relationship along with the D/s aspects of the lifestyle.
This takes work and commitment. There is also compatibility issues. It is kind of like in the vanilla world, great sex will only hold a relationship together for a limited time. The same is true of great BDSM play. If there is not more to the relationship it will fade fast.
So, while there may be more malesubs than Femdoms, keep in mind that if you are a quality malesub you are what is being sought. Make yourself stand out from the trollers out there.
What do I mean by quality?
Self-respect and pride in what you have to offer.
Knowing your submission is just that yours. You choose who to give it to and when.
Understanding the difference bottoming (submissive play) and true submission.
Showing interests in the Domme as a person. - A sub that remembers my favorite color or that I collect a certain thing, will make a better impression on me than the one that remembers I love to spank.
Being a submissive at heart. - By this I mean that in a relationship that trust has developed in, you submit from your heart. Your desire is to please your Domme. You don't submit so that I will ______ (fill in the blank with your favorite activity) for you.
A true sub doesn't seek punishment.
An ability to express your wants/needs/desires in a respectful manner.
Being a person. - To interest me in a long term relationship the sub must have many facets. Just as there is much more to me than being Dominant, I expect there to be a lot more to a sub.
Most importantly, be true to yourself. Don't tell me you love to be spanked, because you know that I love it. I need and expect honesty in a relationship.
It may take a while, but you only have to find one Domme that is a good match for your qualities as sub. Take your time and enjoy the journey.
by Loving_Mistress all rights reserved 1998-2003
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